And back by popular demand...

As it turns out, more people read my blog than I initially though...I know those because periodically, people have come up to me recently saying things like "Did one of your kids REALLY drink from the toilet?" So...here you go...things kids say...the sequel.

Kid: Um....I need to talk to you....
Other teacher: Okay....yes?
Kid: I need to see the NURSE.
Other teacher: Why?
Kid: Well...you know that thing...that thing boys have that girls don't...between their legs? Well...well...mine is...you know...GETTING BIGGER.
Other teacher: Go to the nurse.

(During a spelling test...I notice a student is rolling something back and forth across his desk)
Me: Number 6 is....um...Warren...whatever that is put that away.
Warren: (looks up with one eye closed)
Me: Did you take out your GLASS EYE? Ew! EW! Go to the nurse!!!
Warren: (shrugs) All right.

(this one happened today...I had just finished talking to a former student and had walked away. I found out about the rest of the conversation later).
Kid: I LOVE HER.
My friend the para: Oh really? Well, you know..she's getting married.
Kid: I don't care. I can't take my eyes off of her.

Kid: And so I was chasing this baby penguin and I had a bucket. And I snuck up behind him and I CAPTURED him.
Me: You know...this was supposed to be a TRUE story. You know...one that actually happened to you? A personal narrative, like we've been talking about?
Kid: (pauses for a minute, thinking). It IS true. That really happened. I was a penguin hunter!

(kid is working with my friend Joe)
Joe: That's a nice picture you've drawn there. Is that you, driving the truck?
Kid: Yeah.
Joe: And who exactly is that UNDER the truck?
Kid: That's you.

Kid: Ms. Heffren...Branden said BOTH of the "D" words in the bathroom!!
Me: Um....really? Both of them?
Kid: YES!!
(I pull Branden aside later)
Me: Branden...I hear you said BOTH "d" words in the bathroom....is that true?
Branden (lowering his head) Yeah...I said BOTH of them.